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Remember when dad said ...

Published On: May 16 2011 02:11:12 PM CDT
Updated On: Mar 12 2012 02:43:45 PM CDT
Father, daughter, pond, ducks

"Not while you are living under this roof!"
"When you get to be older than me, then you can tell me what to do. Until then, listen to what I say."
"Son, the only time you start at the top, is when you're digging a hole."
"If a job is worth, it's worth doing well!"
"When I was a boy..."
"Children should be seen and not heard!"
"I can't wait until you've got your own house and your mother and I can come around and spill things on your carpet."
"In my day we had respect for our elders...."
"Now you know how I feel."
"This will hurt me more than it will hurt you."
"It's all very funny till someone loses and eye."
"When I was your age, I had to walk 15 miles in the snow with bare feet everyday just to get to school...."
"Don't ask me, ask your mother."
"I'll play catch after I read the paper."
"A little dirt never hurt anyone-just wipe it off."
"I told you, keep your eye on the ball."
"You call that a haircut?"
"Turn off those lights. Do you think I am made of money?"
"You call that noise music?"
"We're not lost. I'm just not sure where we are."
"Shake it off. It's only pain."
"Don't worry ... it's only blood."
"As long as you live under my roof, you'll live by my rules."
"I'll tell you why. Because I said so. That's why."
"What's so funny? Wipe that smile off your face."
"You want something to do? I'll give you something to do."
"You should visit more often. Your mother worries."
"I'm not sleeping, I was watching that channel."
"What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?"
"I'm not just talking to hear my own voice!"
"You're going out like THAT?"
"Eat it! It will grow hair on your chest!"
"Don't forget to check your oil."
"You can want in one hand and spit in the other and see which one fills up first."
"If your friend jumped off a bridge would you?"
"Stop crying or I'll give you a reason to cry."
"What part of NO don't you understand?"
"I don't care what other people are doing! I'm not everybody elses father."
"Two wrongs do not make a right."
"Enough is enough!"
"Don't make me stop the car!"
"What did I just get finished telling you?"
"Do it to make your mother happy."
"Were you raised in a barn? Close the door!"
"You didn't beat me ... I let you win."
"Who ever said life was supposed to be fair?"
"'Hey' is for horses."
"Don't give me any of your lip, young lady."
"What do you think I am ... a bank?"
"I hope I'm alive when your kids turn sixteen."
"If you break your leg, don't come running to me."

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